Tuesday, April 3, 2007

Journal entry from April 5, 2005

Found this as I was organizing my jump drive this week. It is a journal entry I printed and put in Mia's baby journal. Notice the date.
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April 5, 2005

I cannot wait to get you home and hold you close. You are my sweetie, my girl, and I love you so already. Today God provided the miracle we needed to take away the huge pressure that goes with the expenses of getting you here. My biological father, Glen, had a life insurance policy that left me money upon his death. We really did not think that it would go through – but had hoped and prayed for a miracle. It seemed providential that this might come through during the time we are pursuing adoption. What is so unique - is that since I was adopted 15 years ago I can count on one hand how many times I have seen him. I was so surprised that he would think to do an insurance policy that would cover his burial expenses and have a little left over.

I was praying on my way home today and asked God to help me remember that He is in control. We still hadn’t heard anything about this insurance money.

Then tonight as I was rummaging through the mail – I saw it. I nervously opened the letter and then began to shake as I realized what it was. It was a check for what was left from the insurance policy after the burial expenses! It was almost exactly what we needed for the rest of our adoption expenses! I immediately called your Dad and told him we had our miracle. While shaking and about to breakdown and cry – I told him God had provided – and that I knew that He was confirming that He has indeed destined for you to be our daughter – and make a way when there seemed to be no way.

I then drove to Carolyn and Mark’s house to show them the check. As Carolyn realized what it was – I began to cry. I told her I had all but given up on this and was wondering how else God was going to do it. It seems I always have to try and figure things out. This time God floored me with his miracle. I have no doubt that it was God that prompted Glen to do this. God was making a way for you to be part of our family! People have always asked us how we were going to pay the expenses associated with international adoption, especially on a pastor's salary - and I have ALWAYS said - I have no idea - but I believe God will provide. I had begun to doubt these last few months....but...WOW. I'm speechless at His awesome love.

God loves a little girl in China who needs a family – and has picked us to be that family. We are so blessed and so excited for you to be a part of our family.

Every night we pray as a family; your Daddy, your sister Macy, and me, your Mommy. We pray for you that God will protect you until we get to you. We love you so much already. Me and Macy talk about when her baby sister comes home and I think she is starting to grasp it a little. (She just turned two in January).

We are working on picking out a name for you. Right now the leaders are Mia, Maya, Jasmine, Marissa, and Makynna. I really like Mia b/c of it’s meaning: girl of mine. That so describes how my heart feels about you, sweetie.

With love,
Mommy

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