Friday, May 9, 2008

THE moment...

Before they came in with the first child it seemed as if all of the air had been sucked out of the room and we were all holding our breath...waiting...finally...for our child. I wasn't sure what to feel. Nervous energy. I had Macy to be aware of also... What would it be like to finally meet this child that I loved so much? How could I love someone so much that I had never met? I am sure that is a feeling that expecting parents have all of the time!

I will NEVER forget....never....the expression on the faces of our new friends...Josh & Teri, Russell & Lisa, Joel & Shauna... You see this was their first child. They had been unable to conceive. I feel the tears burning in my eyes as I write this right now... how awesome it was to see the barren womb filled with full arms that day. Even though we were about to experience a life-changing moment ourselves - the faces of these families in particular will be forever etched into my memories. Their tears, their love, their trembling, their smiles,...holding on to this little baby as if they will never, never, never let go.
It reminds me of the awesome verse from the Bible: Psalm 113:9 "He settles the barren woman in her home as a happy mother of children."

It was honestly one of the most incredible moments that I have been honored to be a part of. I don't think my words can even possibly do it justice.

Then they called "McMath"...

I remember feeling like I was in a daze...could this really finally be happening? Or was I sleeping and dreaming about all of this? We couldn't see her immediately as we walked towards the front of the room....there were so many families crowded in with their new little ones...

But then I saw her. A little, tiny, thing. I immediately approached the nanny with open arms. I took her and just looked at her. And she looked at me. And she looked at Brad. Such a blank expression. You could tell she didn't really know what she thought. There was a vacancy I saw in her eyes that I can only now describe as a relational void. She didn't know how to connect with anyone. Life was just life. She was just existing. Not LIVING.

Our guides quickly motioned for us to return to our couch to make room for the next family to receive their child. We sat down quietly. I quickly whipped out 2 little plastic cups I had brought for this moment and she immediately began clicking them together and chewing on them! Victory! Brad and I just gently touched her as if she would break. But then comes Big Sister! Macy throws a little sheep on top of Mia's head and pulls it off quickly...and just as I am about to reprimand Macy for being too rough...out comes this most delightful sound I have ever heard. Mia giggles. She really laughs! I don't know how much she was played with up until this point - but her and Macy formed a bond that day that I will NEVER forget.

After about 15 minutes we are transported back to our hotel room where Mia shows us 2 extraordinary things about herself. I turn my back on her to answer the hotel room door - and she breaks down in tears...utterly heartbroken...almost as if she was afraid that this new "relationship" that she has discovered is going to go away. It was one of the most amazing things to experience. And for the rest of our time in China - she only wanted ME. Amazing. Our bond was God-given and an answer to prayer. But it was almost a fear thing - that if anyone else took her that she would not get me back. I, of course, lapped up every drop of it! :)

The second thing we learned is that she had been waiting patiently for 8 long months to EAT! I was eating a chicken leg that night in our room and everytime I opened my mouth and took a bite - she would open her mouth. And she has been opening it ever since! Everyone that knows Mia - knows this one thing- the girl LOVES to eat...ALL of the time!

Words can not describe what this day means to us. Macy and Mia both are incredible...really incredible gifts from God to us. I am just so thankful to God for His goodness.

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